The Great Cold Rush Race is the second segment of the ninth episode of Wacky Races, and the eighteenth race overall.
Summary[]
Cross frozen Northern Canada from Frostbite, British Columbia, to Cold Cuts, Quebec, the Wacky Racers are enduring the cold of the frozen North. Rufus is freezing, while Penelope shrugs it off, and Peter Perfect has applied antifreeze. The Creepy Coupe flies with Dragon Power into the lead, with the Slag Brothers hitching a ride.
Dick Dastardly takes a shortcut down a ski slope, and the Mean Machine lands on the road in first place, albeit upside-down. An unfazed Dastardly claims his brain "runs like clockwork", proving it by getting the Mean Machine back on its wheels and firing a frame-perfect cannon shot, which blocks the road with an avalanche. Professor Pat Pending, however, scoops a tunnel through, followed by the other cars (which are covered in the scooped-up snow). Dastardly shoots another cannonball "for good luck", but this this one results in a giant block of ice dropping on the Mean Machine, before a Dick Dastardly sneeze shatters it.
Up ahead is a bridge of ice, which the Dastardly Duo rig with a stick of dynamite. As the other cars cross , however, the dynamite fails to explode - until the Mean Machine tries to cross. It's left hanging to a ledge via Muttley, until Dastardly provokes him into dropping the car (and Dastardly along with it). Muttley also falls, but lands right on Dick.
As the racers reach the halfway mark, the Anthill Mob proceed to ice-skate ahead, until an Abominable Snowman, soon revealed too be Dastardly in disguise, scares them off. Dastardly tries to scare Penelope next, but she is unable to stop on the ice and rams the "snowman". Her emergency brake works just in time at a ledge, but centrifugal force throws Dastardly off, and he is subsequently tossed around and flattened by more racers, before Muttley rams him with the Mean Machine due to being unable to stop.
Dastardly's next move is a glue trap, but Pat Pending neutralizes it. With not that much to go left, Dastardly resorts to his final trick of the day: a balloon version of the Mean Machine he refers to as "the fastest racer in the world". The balloon lives up to its title and quickly takes first in the homestretch. In response, the narrator/announcer admits that Dastardly "deserves a pat on the back"; Muttley obliges, causing all the air to go back into Dastardly as he floats away.
As a result, he is ultimately the last to cross the finish line. Opening his mouth to pout lets the air out and Dastardly flies uncontrollably into the distance.
Finishing Order[]
- The Crimson Haybaler
- The Arkansas Chug-a-Bug
- The Bulletproof Bomb
- The Bouldermobile
- The Creepy Coupe
- The Turbo Terrific
- The Army Surplus Special
- The Buzzwagon